Transitions are hard for most people. No matter how old and experienced we become most of us still struggle with transitions in life, whether it’s big transitions like moving or changing jobs or regular transitions like going from the weekend back into the work week. Kids are particularly sensitive to their environments and tend to struggle with transitions both big and small. One of those BIG transitions is right on the horizon- Back-to-School in the fall.
As parents we have learned how impactful this transition is for our daughter and I know many of our parent friends and clients agree. There tends to be a lot of excitement and anticipation around Back-to-School, like adults frequently asking “are you excited to go back to school?” Or kids wondering what they will wear on their first day and especially who will be in my class this year. Coupled with a big shift in daily routine, the Back-to-School transition can cause stress and affect a child’s nervous system and emotional balance leading to temper tantrums and mood swings. They often show disruptive digestive issues, trouble with sleep habits, and attention and focus issues that worry their parents. They may feel more stress prior to going back to school or in the first weeks or months of school as they adjust to the routine and change in social stimulation.
As Chinese Medicine practitioners we see the seasonal transition from summer into fall as one that takes us from a time of outward expression, abundance and desire for joyful activities to one of more inward expression, desire for reflection, organization and structure, and feelings of grief. Summer is the season of the Fire Element - hot, wild, connected, and without form- while autumn is the season of the Metal Element - cooling, structured, grounded, and more solitary. In many ways, if we learn to understand and harness the energetic movements of seasonal transitions we can also help nurture and prepare our children for their transition back to class. Here are some of the things we are doing for our daughter this year to better support her and her nervous system during the beginning of the school year.
Start early! Many of us are still enjoying the flow and fun of summer and it can be hard to really wrap our adult brains around the upcoming change in routine. We think it’s important, however, to start shifting routines and making an action plan with your partner or other childcare providers two weeks before school starts. More time allows for flexibility, preparation, and less stress.
Focus on sleep- Let’s face it, sleep is essential for our emotional equilibrium. In Chinese Medicine the sleep cycle is seen as one of the most important cycles to support overall health. This is also one of the most significant changes in routine that kids face during Back-to-School after spending the summer staying up late and sleeping in. Making the sleep routine change gradual will be more natural and supportive to your child. For us it means trying to incrementally move bedtime earlier by about 10 - 15 minutes every few days or so. We do our best to not make it a rigid expectation, more of a goal, otherwise we find it can bring us or our daughter stress. This is another reason it’s helpful to start 2 weeks prior to school starting so there is less pressure to move the time by a certain day. Our daughter will naturally start to wake up earlier with an earlier bedtime, but sometimes we need to support her waking up as well. Because she’s not a morning person, often the week prior to school starting we need to encourage her waking up so it’s closer to when she needs to be up for school. We do this by opening the curtains slightly for natural light to come in or by opening her bedroom door so she hears more of the noises in the house. This allows her natural rhythm to shift, rather than having an abrupt change in sleep that can lead to fatigue and less emotional resilience.
Schedule downtime- It’s amazing how quickly kids schedules can fill up with after school and weekend activities and playdates. It’s important to remember how stimulating and exhausting this transition is for kids, especially in the first month of starting back at school. This is also the transition to fall where it is natural and supportive to make time for rest and downtime. If kids are tired and over-scheduled, their nervous systems will be stressed and less regulated leading to more meltdowns and poor focus. Some kids are good at rest, and like playing quietly by themselves or spending time reading. Quiet activities are not always our child’s strong suit, so we like to spend time reading with her, or if we don’t have time, we download audiobooks and give her an hour of rest time where she can lay down and listen to a story in the afternoons. She loves this and it helps to distract her while still engaging her imagination and creativity and feels like a better compromise than screen time.
Engage kids in the preparation- while parents need to be clear on their plans and goals, it can be helpful to have a family meeting and encourage your children to come up with ideas on how they can participate with the school morning and evening routines. As kids get older we can foster their independence and hopefully make things easier for everyone on those early mornings and bedtimes. Kids often need reminders because they are naturally more focused in the present moment, with whatever they are doing at the time, and not naturally inclined to think ahead and follow a plan. Work together with your child to write our a checklist of the tasks they need to complete before bed and in the morning and post it somewhere they can see. That way you can direct them to their list instead of telling them what to do and avoid some mutual frustration.
Nutrition- packing lunches can be hard and time consuming but we do feel this is the best way to ensure your child is eating healthy through the day. Nutrition is really important for emotional balance in kids (as well as adults). There has been a lot of research showing how a diet higher in sugar and processed foods is associated with a higher likelihood of depression, anxiety and mood instability. We try to avoid sugar, especially in limiting things with added sugar like snack bars and yogurts, and especially candy and soda that has no nutritional value. Our daughter will always eat the sweet thing first in her lunch box, so we limit it to one item, then have the rest of the lunch be fruit, veggies, carbs and protein. We try to work with her to figure out other things that are easy for her to eat during the short lunch window at school. For our daughter this often looks like carrots, crackers and hummus, apple slices and a bar and popcorn for a snack. Because she struggles to eat enough during school, we also prioritize a hearty breakfast and dinner during the school week. If you can help your child stick to more whole foods versus sugary or processed options in many of the school lunches, you should notice improvement in their emotional balance.
Nervous system support- pediatric shonishin acupuncture is a non-needle therapy that uses Chinese Medicine and meridian therapy to help with physical, regulatory, and emotional issues in children. David is one of the only pediatric acupuncturists in Bend and his patients and our daughter find this to be really helpful managing stress and anxiety and calming their nervous systems. We also encourage guided meditation at bedtime and breath work to help kids learn how to regulate their emotions and cope with stress. Gentle pediatric chiropractic and craniosacral work can also be really beneficial therapies for kids to support their nervous systems. Again, start therapies early, before school starts, and in the first few weeks of school to proactively help your kids stay calm and focused during this transition. Chinese herbal formulas can also help kids find emotional balance, calm their systems, and move past internal imbalances and we utilize these formulas for our daughter and patients to great benefit. Sometimes an afternoon or evening cup of tea can also be calming and restful, our daughter really likes chamomile lavender tea, but there are a lot of other herbal options to try.
There are so many ways to proactively support your child’s emotional equilibrium during transitions instead of trying to figure out how to help them once they are already stressed and struggling to cope. Hopefully the information above is helpful to you as you make preparations and helps inspire ideas about how to support your family during Back-to-School this year.
The other important thing to consider is making sure you are making time to support your own emotional wellbeing during this transition, as the routine change can also be hard on parents especially if your child is struggling. As you build your school routines, make sure to set aside time for movement, nature, rest, your own meal prep, and prioritizing your sleep cycle as well. If you feel like you need more health or nervous system support, consider scheduling an acupuncture session or massage to focus on your self care. Your children react to your emotional state, so if you can stay calm and balanced during Back-to-School they will have an easier time adjusting as well. Remember that fall is a great time to focus on wellness and reorganizing your health routines as this is how the energy of the season is changing. Tap into this seasonal energy and let it guide you and your family to a more graceful transition this year.